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Saturday, May 28, 2016

Undo the Calamity of Your Mammaries

I really don't understand why everyone has their panties in a twist about Marvel allegedly making Captain America an agent of Hydra. Do you people not ever pay any attention? Undo the calamitythat is your mammaries and sit down.

Even if this is what Marvel is doing (and it could be any one of a million tricks or fakeouts, i.e., he's a Skrull; a clone; mind wiped; brainwashed; a mind-wiped, brainwashed Skrull clone), it will not lastNothing Marvel ever does lasts. No major change or character decision lasts very long.They killed Steve Rogers off and he magically came to life 3 years later.

They do these things as stunt gimmicks to make you talk about their products and buy their comics! Ta-da! it works!

DC just killed off Superman. Again! No, wait, they just killed of  a Superman, LOL ha-ha j/k, it's not the real Superman ha-ha-ha!. Did we tel you we rebooted our multiverse for the 5,000,000,000th time this year? Ha-ha, made you buy our comics.

Comic book publishers are the biggest trolls of their own audience. They do this crap all the time and all it does is serve to cheapen their stories. None of these changes ever stick. No one ever stays dead in comics (paging Jean Grey, please pick up the white courtesy phone) and no major character change like Steve Rogers being dead, or being a sleeper agent of Hydra, is ever permanent. I could list off probably a thousand such major, calamitous character changes since 1980 alone that were not permanent. Comic book characters are never allowed to change, or grow, or become anything different. Do to that would be to risk maiming the cash cow, and no super hero publisher will ever do that.

Again, People's Exhibit A: Marvel killed off Steve Rogers, the one and only "real" Captain America, and had his second banana, Falcon, become the "new" Captain America. Three years later, Steve Rogers was miraculously found alive! Sorry, Falcon, guess you get to go back to being the backup,bro.

It's more likely that Marvel will reveal the issues had a typo, and that Cap was actually saluting Hydrox Cookies.